Monday, June 06, 2005

The disgruntled Wedding Reception guest


Saturday, I attended my sister's 1 year wedding anniversary reception and was feeling disgruntled. I'm happy for her, but not happy about our society's vendetta against gay people.

On Thursday, June 2, 2005, I witnessed injustice live on webcast. The California Assembly Speaker was tackling the daily file, trying to get through all the items quickly, when he arrived at item number 8, AB 19. AB 19 would have given me and my partner our equal civil right to marry eachother under California State law. What happened confused me and then when it sunk in that it had not passed, angered me. "All those who wish to vote, please vote." Was chanted hypnotically by someone off camera. The screen showed the roll call and vote tally as the Yes and No votes scrolled up and up. We only needed 41 Yes votes to pass the Assembly. Near the end of the voting period, I heard someone talking off mic and the next thing I heard was "Motion by the bill's author Leno to move to the inactive file." The voting stopped at 37 yes votes and 36 no votes. I couldn't believe it. Why had he stopped the voting? I kept watching hoping that I would understand what had happened, when, a few minutes later, I heard the Assembly speaker say, "Will the Members of the Assembly please return to the floor, we have a large file to go through and will be here until late this evening, Please leave your offices and return to the Assembly floor."

It dawned on me at that moment what "abstaining" meant. Instead of making a stand, doing their job, and voting either Yes or No, they skirted the issue and walked off the Assembly floor so they wouldn't have to vote.

On Saturday, June 4, 2004, one year ago, I took a day off work and went down to City Hall with my sister, her fiance, their twin babies, family, and friends, and watched a Justice of the Peace announce that they are now husband and wife. I was in awe of how simple it is, but I also thought that I could not do the exact same thing with the person of my choosing. Now that I'm not single and am seriously considering marriage, I feel angry. I could go down to the same desk, present the same amount of money, request the same thing, a marriage license for Cynthia and I, but would be denied the same right that my sister was given.

I was already feeling a little bad at the party, because my girlfriend was not there, and nobody was really talking to me, when I overheard my sister telling a gay joke. "You insensitive b$@$%" I thought. I stepped her aside and calmly expressed my dissappointment in the fact that she had just made a gay joke that was very inappropriate, especially given my raw nerves over what had happened 2 days before. She responded, "I know, I know. I'm sorry."

Yeah. Whatever.

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